she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
