were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
