My first STD was from a foam party
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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