It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
