hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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