I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
