You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
