Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
