When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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