you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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