I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
