I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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