Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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