I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
