I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
