hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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