Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
