Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
