there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
