You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
