a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
