i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
