My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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