my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
