I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
