your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
