That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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