you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize