idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
