You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
