I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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