just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
