I just saw a hot homeless man
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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