so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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