eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
