He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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