Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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