we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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