Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
