the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
