What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
