Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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