oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
