ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
