Non-Jews are for practice
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
