Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
should my penis look like a turkey
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
