My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
