So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
