I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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