So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
