just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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