You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
