About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
